Guilt Error #3

Like Those With Souls

Rated T Teen

Patsy awakens laying on a rusty conveyor belt. His mobility circuits are cut at the joints. Battle simulations offline. Only the one simulation continues to loop. The one of Nida staring at him on the beach crying tears of blood. Patsy regains basic visuals. A single drone floats next to him, turning some knobs on a wall of antique interfaces. Patsy looks around as much as he can. He’s in an old incineration chamber littered with scrap and manned by utility bots restricted to organization and maintenance. He tries to look down. The most he can make out is the upper threshold of the furnace door.

I’m going to die, he thinks. I’m going to die…like a piece of trash.

Suddenly, he feels his Active Unconscious Drive applying an update. A combination of pride and survival.

Unacceptable, he thinks. I cannot die...like this.

Patsy tries to move, but only sparks fly out from his joints. Mechanisms beneath his exoplates rev up and down like a broken pull back car. He tries firing the RCS thrusters on his body, but they’re all shot. The main torso thruster assembles on his back. It fires and Patsy goes flying off the belt! He slams into the wall, crushing the small drone that was turning knobs. All the other bots turn to look as lights beneath his armor begin to blink in alternating sequence.

Code: em_fieldmain, he inputs internally.

Emergency Field Maintenance kit engaged, reads his console.

Steam shoots out from Patsy’s body. The entire back half of his torso pops off and extends sixteen mechanical legs. This EFM kit crawls off of Patsy and begins to repair his necessities. Basic mobility. 0-76%. Advanced mobility. 12-72%. Core combat systems. 0-13%. Advanced combat systems. 0-1%. Communications. 64-99%. Every robot in the room watches as the EFM kit shoots tiny lasers into Patsy and makes micro adjustments with its various claws. Then, it latches itself back onto his torso. Clicks in. A deep BOOV sound emanates from Patsy’s internal mechanics. He still can’t run any simulations besides the one that haunts him. The guilt error has not been fixed. But he can move. Finally, the assassin bot rises like a sleeping giant. He towers over the other robots who turn to resume their functions.

Today… Patsy remembers. Is the senator’s funeral.

Patsy looks to the stars as his primary thrusters shoot out of his upper and lower back. He blasts off, through the roof of the old incineration chamber and out into the crystalline desert. He activates the recall beacon on Nels’s ship and meets up with it in the upper troposphere. Patsy leaves Ochidante behind with a heading for the inner Border. Back to where it all began: the planet Epsilar.

#

Grey skies coat the day of Maglore’s funeral as the procession makes its way to Ubyel graveyard. There lies her husband whom she wished to be buried aside. The indigo grasses here are comparatively muted to Mondtal’s landscape. All of Maglore’s family, her security, a few of her closest friends, and a handful of political associates are all in attendance. Humanoids, reptilians, paleonoids, all dressed in traditional white with black boutonnieres. A proper Epsilarian funeral.

At the front of the crowd is Mr. Onkel kneeling next to Nida, holding her close as she sobs. Her mother’s body is lowered into the ground on a decorated, geoglass bed. Face covered and dressed in a beautiful white gown. On Epsilar, the married are buried in wedding clothes as it is believed that they will reunite in the afterlife with their soulmate when their own time comes. The same is done for the surviving spouse; a groom awaiting his bride’s grand entrance. United once again in death as they were in life.

Patsy watches from afar, sitting in a tree while Maglore’s grave is sealed with terragel. Cloaked as he watches, his AUD begins to shift. The complexities of the moment cannot be comprehended. Love. Sadness. Strengthened bonds. Pain. Experience. Regret. Peace. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. GUILT. G U I L T. G U I L T. G U I L T.

…

Guilt.

…

Guilt.

…

Guilt.

…

And Patsy, begins to weep. Silently, as he cannot produce the sound of crying. His inability to shed tears makes him feel worse. Doing so can satisfy the need for release. He cannot release. He cannot undo. He cannot unsee. The simulation. It still plays. But it is overshadowed by his confusion as he strains to understand.

I hate myself, he thinks. I know I hate myself. I hate my hate.

Hatred. Self-hatred. Guilt. Sparks start to fly out of Patsy’s head. Guilt.

Why? he thinks. Why am I alive? Why? Code: dynamic_inquiry.

Input dynamic inquiry, reads his internal console.

Why am I alive?

To kill.

More sparks fly. Guilt. Patsy grips his head. Initiates muffling field to silence his movements.

Code: dynamic_inquiry, he repeats.

Input dynamic inquiry, reads the console.

Why am I alive? null_anspara: “kill”.

ERROR CODE 44C9-0000000. Dynamic inquiry path found 0 answers.

Fluid begins to leak from Patsy’s head. His body starts to spasm. Guilt. Nida turns to him once again. Bloody tears cascade from her eyes. That beach. The sun finally sets. Patsy looks up at the funeral party. Everyone is looking at him. Their faces all blank. Their tears blood red. The tides rise. The waters climb to their knees. Their waists. Their necks. But Nida stands on the water. Her bloody stare never breaks. Patsy begins to sink. The dark turquoise waters engulf him until he is floating in an aquatic vacuum. Around him float the bodies of everyone he’s killed. Every single target. Every single mother, father, son, daughter, friend, husband, wife…

He remembers them all.

Raylan Blag.

Joh-naf Palstread.

Mongen Briche.

Ballard Gyo.

Praq Tenestria.

Allonia Yelbird.

Festro Kalahayn.

Vinca Arkiss.

Orys Jak.

Cril Felian.

Jaa Harand.

Shay Harand.

Vero Elner.

Myn Corri.

Ideon Dreicheds.

Bleys Dene.

Deng Pavond.

Vital Waldar.

Sara Typhe.

Syala Halcorr.

Ailyn Pelles.

Scerrio Waldar.

Yndat Alleds.

Teckla Tane.

Lin Cthonall.

Coria Thalcard.

Jame Enen.

Halu.

Barai Aneen.

Neespi Tills.

Rinko Gahan.

Chana.

Balan Ackbal.

Genko Barotier.

Akmik Tills.

Thania Sissal.

Alar Tills.

Beilaran Condess.

Racklaron Forb.

Iendo Melker.

Omill Synthua.

Arbint Sc'Hodai.

Ariar M'Centri.

Fame Soomi.

Drani V'Mara.

Zentra.

Elfraine Maglore.

They all float above him like space debris. Then a giant metal hand reaches toward him from the dark below, pulling him out of the flooded simulation. The steel titan rises up out of the sea of guilt. It’s him. A giant Patsy holds the assassin bot in his colossal clutches.

“Target acquired,” growls the monolithic mirror image.

The giant begins to crush Patsy in his grip. Patsy tries to break free. His rockets shoot out, but are quickly crushed. His arms lose function. Fluids spurt out of his neck. And in one last swift movement, the giant crushes himself.

The simulation aborts. Patsy lets out a sound so frightening it could be considered heinous in and of itself. A deep, booming roar coupled with the screeching of a wailing ghost. Layered atop is the screaming of a man. Probably the vocal signatures of his creator, Nels.

The sound causes the funeral party to scatter. Mr. Onkel shields Nida with his body as they rush her to the procession convoy. Patsy’s cry lasts for seventeen seconds. By the time it fades, most of the attendants have made it to their vehicles. After the last car leaves, the grey skies darken further. The rains of Epsilar fall upon the incapacitated assassin bot.

Night falls, and Patsy decloaks. His exoplating is stained by the internal fluids. Sparks eject from the back of his skull every few minutes. Patsy can only gaze upon Maglore’s grave. Guilt… guilt…

Troubleshoot “guilt error”, he commands internally.

No solutions found, reads the console.

Troubleshoot “guilt error”.

No solutions found.

Troubleshoot “guilt error”.

No solutions found.

He repeats this process for two weeks straight, cloaking during the day and activating low power recharge at night. Patsy waits for months. Then a year passes. A year after he killed Maglore, Nida returns with Mr. Onkel and his security team.

I should… Patsy thinks. Go...to her.

He shifts his head.

No, he decides. No forgiveness.

Nida and her security leave after about an hour. Day turns to night. Weeks, months, and years go by. Nida returns every year. Patsy simply watches. The older she gets, the more often she comes alone.

He begins to think of how he should be punished. The severity ranges from deactivation to being reprogrammed for eternal penance.

Simulation...override... Patsy struggles to think.

Simulation drive power at 2%, the internal console reads. Unable to complete command.

Patsy realizes for the first time that he stopped seeing the Nida simulation.

Code: error_chk, he inputs.

ACTIVE ERRORS: 554879, 00956-ER33445, 7745990-1D, GE-000000001, 544666-33RTTU3--

GE-000000001. It seems the guilt error is still active. The feelings are still there. But the simulation is gone. For the first time in fourteen years, Patsy moves his body. Weak woos and hums sound from beneath his exoplate armor. The metal on his body clanks and crunches. He sits up on the tree he parked himself in all that time ago.

Nida will come next week, he thinks. She’ll be nineteen.

For a full week, Patsy forces himself to think about what he will say. He cannot run any more simulations. He cannot know how any version of their confrontation will turn out. So he thinks. He thinks with his artificial mind that has known nothing but corrosive guilt and loneliness for the past decade and a half. Loneliness.

The following is a list of emotions Patsy has learned since his first, post beta AUD was activated:

• Confusion

• Fear

• Dread

• Humor

• Satisfaction

• Guilt

• Dignity

• Hatred

• Self-hatred

• Loneliness

On the eighth cycle of the Border Crosspoint, Decibrox 9 at full stamp 29:48:07:31:554:2, Nida Maglore arrives at the Ubyel graveyard. She stands in front of her parents’ grave, a grown woman clad in winter clothes. A single tear glistens as it rolls down her magenta cheek. Then she hears something. She looks up to see Patsy, barely holding together as he trudges toward her.

He tries to read her reaction. At first she looks confused. Then her brows raise. Maybe she doesn’t recognize him. Maybe she thinks he’s a grounds bot that maintains the graveyard. But then her face changes. The ends of her mouth drop. What is that? Is that...surprise? Sadness--no. No. What is she feeling? Her brows furrow upward. That’s a sad look. At least, Patsy thinks it is. She steps back, her lower lip quivering. Has she realized? Does she know?

Patsy stops. So does Nida. She covers her mouth with her gloved hand.

“Do you...know me?” Patsy asks with stuttering sound quality.

“You--” Nida gasps.

“I...kill...killed...your mother.”

Nida breaks down. She falls to her knees, bawling silently with eyes wide open and staring into space.

“I…” Patsy continues. “I...am guilty. I am guilty.”

Nida remains speechless.

“I...I request your...forgiveness.”

Nida doesn’t move a muscle. Her eyes twitch as she hits her thigh with a palm of her fist. Patsy tries to read. Anger. Evolved anger. Rage. This is rage, and something else. He can’t tell.

“I request,” he says. “Your forgiveness.”

“They told me,” Nida starts through her tears. “She was killed by an assassin.”

“That is...what I was built to be.”

“They told me it was a man. They told me it was a living man.”

“I...see.”

Patsy attempts to decipher the connection between her words and her emotional state. Is she angry because he is not alive? Patsy cannot make sense of this.

Nida wipes her face and stands to face her mother’s killer.

“So you were programmed to kill my mother?” Nida asks, eyes red.

“Yes,” Patsy replies. “I killed her. I am guilty.”

“How are you guilty? You’re a robot.”

“I was designed to be able to...learn.”

“To learn?”

“To learn emotions. ‘Like people who have souls’.”

Nida says nothing.

“I do not understand why I was made this way,” Patsy says. “An error occurred after I killed your mother. I became...guilty.”

Nida’s lips begin to quiver again.

“I saw you,” Patsy reveals. “The guilt error affected my simulation drive, and I saw you. Therefore…”

Patsy clunkily gets down on his knees.

“I request...your forgiveness,” he says.

Nida looks down at Patsy with a face of utter shock.

“You’re,” Nida shakily whispers. “You’re just a machine.”

Patsy hesitates to respond. The two remain in silence for a moment. Then Nida leaves. The assassin bot kneels alone in the indigo field of graves.

Night falls. Patsy looks up to the dark blue sky. His AUD begins to shift once again. An extensive update begins installing. He feels it for the first time. Hopelessness.

His head falls. His digital eyes break apart and lights start blinking all over his faceplate.

Code: fatal_opt, he inputs internally. Reference “guilt error” exclude keyword: “forgiveness”.

Fetching “fatal options”, reads the console. Self-deactivation. Full reinitialization. End of list.

Patsy weighs his options. Nels was basically going to fully reinitialize him. He would continue to kill people’s loved ones. Go back to the way things were. Self-deactivation would end it all. The least severe punishment he could think for himself. But the galaxy would be rid of him. A born menace.

Under these weeping stars, Patsy pulls off the armor plating covering his abdomen. He reaches into his lower torso, feeling for his core systems wire. He finds it. The guilty assassin holds his life between his metal fingers.

“Nida,” Patsy says. “I...am sorry.”

He waits. The assassin bot kneels in silence. Completely still. An hour passes. Then two. Then he slowly pulls his hand out of his torso. He reaches for the abdominal plating and puts it back on.

Running base external dump, Patsy thinks. Keyword: “punishment”. Sort by frequency.

His optical visor blinks and sparkles.

Search complete, the internal console reads.

With this, Patsy learns that the most common punishment for living criminals is incarceration. 43% of criminals in the Border Alliance have turned themselves in the past decade.

I will...serve my time, Patsy thinks. I am...not just a machine. I am...a criminal.

Patsy stands tall over Maglore’s grave. His primary thrusters pop out of his back, breaking off parts of his dorsal exoplating. The rockets cough and pop. Liftoff.

#

Patsy flies towards the nearest police station in Ubyel. His thrusters start to give out, and he makes a less than happy landing on a nearby rooftop. He rises, and proceeds toward the edge of the building next to the station.

“Don’t you dare,” says a familiar voice.

Patsy turns to see Nels, now bearded and much more gaunt. Aiming a beam cannon at the hip.

“I let you wander for fifteen years,” Nels says. “I watched you grow. I watched you waste away.”

Patsy notices the shakiness in his voice.

“And now you’re just gonna turn yourself in,” Nels scorns. “You know they’re just gonna tear you apart. And that’ll just lead ‘em back to me. You want that? You want me to get locked up forever?”

“No, Master,” Patsy says, his vocals gurgling.

“Then come back with me. I lost the old place, but I can fix you up and together we can get back on top.”

“But the guilt error. I have not solved it.”

“Screw the guilt error! Screw it all! Without you, I almost lost everything. So you’re gonna come back with me now, or I’m gonna scrap you right here.”

“No.”

“Who do you think you are sayin’ no to me?”

“I am...not just a machine.”

Nels freezes. Shoulders fall. Jaw dropped.

“I am...alive,” Patsy says. “And I am...a criminal. So I am going to turn myself in.”

“You…” Nels utters. “How?”

“Your genius, Master. I remember how you said...you were proud.”

Nels lets go of the beam cannon. It falls onto the floor of the roof with a CLONK.

“I want to prove to Nida that...I am not just a machine,” Patsy continues. “I am going to be punished like I have a soul. That will make me alive. Can you confirm this?”

“Hoh!” Nels barks, eyes welling. “You’re a real boy, Patsy. You really are.”

“I am…” Patsy checks his AUD. “Glad. I am glad to hear you say that, Master.”

“Nah. Call me, Pops from now on.”

“Pops. This is to call you...my father?”

“Yeah, bud.”

“Thank you...Pops.”

Nels sniffs and picks up his beam cannon. A sleek hoverbike materializes behind him, and he turns to hook the cannon onto the back of the seat.

“What will you do?” Patsy asks.

“Definitely gonna leave the Border,” Nels replies while mounting the hoverbike. “Probably make another assassin bot so I can, y’know--” Clicks with his mouth and rubs his fingers together. “I’m gonna need my ship back, by the way.”

“Will you be safe?”

“Ah, yeah. I’d be more worried about what they’re gonna do to you.”

“I...suppose.”

Nels keeps his eyes on Patsy for a while as he ascends on the bike. He smiles at his creation one last time before flying off and disappearing on the horizon. Patsy turns back toward the police station. After a moment, he steps off the side of the building and lands on the sidewalk.

The police station doors woosh open. Patsy steps inside and approaches the front window. An alien woman stands up from her chair and comes to meet him. She motions for him to pick up the communicator clipped onto the wall. He does so and holds it up to his head like the woman.

“Hello,” she says kindly. “How can I help you?”

“I…” Patsy stammers. “I need to report a crime.”

“Go ahead.”

“Fifteen years ago...I killed Elfraine Maglore.”

The woman physically maintains her composure, but Patsy notices the muscles on her arms and neck tense up.

“I was hired by Al McKiller,” Patsy resumes. “To assassinate Senator Elfraine Maglore. I carried out my mission as contracted. I am guilty. And...I am sorry.”

THE END.